Introduction to my commentary on the 2024 Presidential election.

It started a few months ago. At first, I decided to just be in denial about it. But as usual that only worked for a short time. I’ve tried to tune it out, ignore it but there is no way to ignore the loud and deep rumblings. They’ve grown in to huge claps of thunder, you know, the house shaking kind of thunder I’m talking about. That is not the sort of thing that can be ignored and I knew immediately where the sound was coming from. Yeah, the murky depths. Knowing that the murky depths are inhabited by politicians, their groupies, the bullshitters, the media, the mud slingers. They are on their way here, and they’re bringing campain crud with them.

I’ve had to face the reality that it’s getting dangerously close to Presidential election time. In fact, it’s hurdling towards us like a rogue comet. There’s no stopping it and the trauma it will no doubt bring. Along with the campain crud we are all suseptible to. Realizing how close it is, I had a bit of a panic attack. Dizzy, heart beating like crazy, I had to sit down, take some deep breaths and focus.

Knowing that campain crud 2020 was so bad I can only guess 2024 will be deadly. Alot of people could potentially become infected. I considered getting the vaccine that was just developed for campain crud, ummm, On second thought, I’ll just come up with my own survival strategy.

You see, some refer to elections as a Three Ring Circus. I think that’s a little tame. Something like “Politicians Gone Wild” would be more accurate to me. The whole process is chaotic and annoying. So anyway, a plan, a strategy for survival is all I needed to come up with to make this panic subside, and survive the presidential election. I was pretty certain I could come up with something, I just need to put some thought in to it. Unfortunately, while I was pondering the merits of fight or flight my body, still in a panic pulled an executive order and went in to flight mode.

So, yes, initially anyway flight won over and before I knew what I was doing, I was packed and ready to go. Anywhere. I made it to the airport and the only destination was somewhere in China – one way. In my panic I snapped it up. Luckily, along with all the other flights, it was cancelled. That gave me some time to calm down and think things through a little better. It dawned on me. There was no where to run. A flight strategy was not going to guarantee survival. Damn!

I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. It’s not that I don’t care about politics or elections, I do. I just see the whole election ordeal like trading a bag of bullshit for a bag of horseshit. When people ask me who I’m going to vote for I can’t help but think it’s like asking the innocent person who just lost their last appeal “Now then, do you prefer lethal injection or firing squad?” “Whatever.”

When it’s all said and done the innocent person still ends up dead and we’re still left holding a bag of shit. I’m with the innocent guy and “whatever” seems to be the only appropriate response.

In 2020 in a roundabout sort of way I went with a flight strategy. Although I didn’t actually go anywhere, my campain/election avoidance tactic was to just not put myself near the line of fire. Just don’t listen to it. It didn’t work. In hindsight I see the faults in my strategy. Obviously I didn’t put a whole lot of thought in to it and I’m a little embarrassed to disclose my tactics. I did think that I had “simple yet brilliant” enlisted in protecting me from the crud. Turns out only simple showed up and covering my ears and humming any time elections were the conversation topic was not at all effective.

OK. I’ve now realized that no matter what I do, assuming I survive, I’m gonna end up holding a bag of shit. Again. We all are. With nowhere to run, fight is my only option for surviving campain ’24. I’m not much of a fighter. I’ll just have to learn.

Having settled the fight or flight debate, my head cleared a little and I could focus on the next step. I’ll just revamp my 2020 strategy for 2024. Easy peasy.

Well, kinda. I’ve thought of every possible fight strategy and the only thing I could come up with is to just join them. Just jump into the chaos with the politicians, the media, the commentators, the campain people. Because all they do is spew crap, point fingers, stomp feet, and sling mud. Right? Right. Well, if they can do it, so can I. OH! That is empowering! I’ve honed in on the mudslinging part of the chaos. Because along with all the bullshit, I’ll have a lifetime supply of ammunition. I am dealing with politicians here after all.

No. I’m not running for office. I’m just going to put myself in the middle of the chaos in a, well let’s call it an “instigator” role.

I have to say this could actually thwart the campain crud. Plus, I’m very xcited about my role in the chaos. I suspect I’m going to really enjoy slingin mud at the FatMouths & Liars! And even though I’m only in mudslinging kindergarten, I think I may have a natural inclination for it.

The next step, acquire mudslinger. No need to worry about the ammunition, it’s in production 24/7. I wonder if mud slingers come in pink? Oh! This is gonna be fun!

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